Dating Texting Statistics 2026: What 27,126 Posts Reveal
By Rush, founder of SpicyReplies 路 路 6 min read
We read 27,126 recent posts from six of the biggest dating communities on Reddit to answer one question: when people get stuck over text, what are they stuck on? About 1 in 6 posts is about texting, and 676 people asked strangers exactly what to send. Here is what they asked, when they asked it, and what gets the most answers.
Key findings
- 15.8% of dating posts (4,273 of 27,126) are about texting or messaging and ask for input. That is about 1 in 6.
- 2.5% of all posts (676, about 1 in 40) directly ask what to text, how to word a message or how to save a conversation.
- The first message is the #1 problem: 19.7% of the "what do I text" posts are about opening the chat.
- Timing questions come second at 14.3%: when to text, how often, and whether to double text.
- Dry conversations are among the most-answered: posts about dry or one-word replies get a median of 8 comments, against 5 for texting questions overall.
- Saturday is the quietest day: 57 posts, half as many as Tuesday (115) or Wednesday (116). Friday is second-quietest (71).
- Both sides get stuck: 287 of the posts talk about "her" and 239 about "him".
What people get stuck texting about
Each of the 676 "what do I text" posts was put in the one situation that fits it best. Opening the chat, timing and moving to a date make up almost half of all requests (45.8%). Openers and dry replies together, the two moments where a conversation either starts or dies, are close to 3 in 10 (29.2%).
| Situation | Share of posts | Posts | Median comments |
|---|---|---|---|
| Opening the chat / first message | 19.7% | 133 | 7 |
| When and how often to text, double texting | 14.3% | 97 | 7 |
| Asking them out / moving off the app | 11.8% | 80 | 7 |
| Fixing a message that went wrong | 11.7% | 79 | 3 |
| Dry or one-word replies | 9.5% | 64 | 8 |
| Left on read, slow replies or ghosted | 8.9% | 60 | 4.5 |
| Replying to a flirty or spicy message | 5.9% | 40 | 3 |
| Rejecting someone or ending it | 4.3% | 29 | 3 |
| Texting an ex or an old match | 3.3% | 22 | 2.5 |
| What to text after a date | 3.0% | 20 | 7 |
| Reading interest from a text | 2.7% | 18 | 8 |
| Other | 5.0% | 34 | 4 |
Base: 676 posts that ask what to text or how to word a message. "Other" includes compliment and photo replies (5 posts).
The first message is the hardest part
One in five texting questions is about the very first message. The recurring themes: openers that get ignored, matches who never say anything, not knowing who should message first on Bumble or Hinge, and how to show a sense of humor in one line.
The fix that keeps coming up in the answers: skip "hey" and react to something specific in their profile or prompt. Our guides to dating app openers and replying to "hey" have lines you can copy.
Timing worries are almost as common
14.3% of posts are not about what to say but when: how long to wait, whether a second message looks desperate, how much to text between dates, and what to do when replies slow down. People worry about timing almost as much as about the words.
The short version: one follow-up after a day or two is normal, matching their pace beats any rule, and a specific plan works better than more small talk.
Dry texting gets the most answers
Dry or one-word replies are only 9.5% of the questions, but they are among the most-answered: a median of 8 comments, tied with "is this person interested" posts. People ask whether they are the boring one, whether they have to carry the whole conversation, and why someone would match and then not talk.
If you want a quick read on a dry chat, our free Dry Texter Test scores the conversation from 0 to 100 and shows what is making it dry.
When people ask for help
Posting time is not the exact moment someone got stuck, but it shows when people care enough to ask. Most "what do I text" posts go up Monday to Wednesday and on Sunday. Friday and Saturday are the quietest days, when people are more likely to be out than texting.
More than a quarter of posts (26%) go up between 10pm and 6am Eastern, which is when a lot of overthinking happens.
| Day (US Eastern time) | Posts |
|---|---|
| Wednesday | 116 |
| Tuesday | 115 |
| Monday | 111 |
| Sunday | 108 |
| Thursday | 98 |
| Friday | 71 |
| Saturday | 57 |
Time of day: afternoon 12-6pm 32%, morning 6am-12pm 22%, evening 6-10pm 20%, late night 10pm-2am 15%, night 2-6am 11%.
How we got the data
We collected the newest public posts (up to 6,000 per community) from r/Tinder, r/hingeapp, r/Bumble, r/dating_advice, r/OnlineDating and r/Flirting, posted between July 30 and October 29, 2026, through the public Arctic Shift Reddit archive. Because r/dating_advice is so busy, its 6,000 posts only cover October 18 to 29.
We kept English posts that mention texting or messaging and ask for input (4,273 posts). Each one was labeled with AI models (does it ask what to text, and which situation is it) and the labels were spot-checked by hand. Times are converted to US Eastern time.
Limits: Reddit users are not everyone who dates, each post gets only one situation, and automated labels make some mistakes, so read the shares as a solid picture, not exact counts. We publish totals only, never anyone's posts or usernames.
Use this data
You are welcome to quote these numbers in articles, videos or posts. Please credit "SpicyReplies dating texting study (2026)" and link to this page.
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